The arrival of old age is not perceived by all as normal.
Half of the people form an internal protest, which becomes a fertile ground for the emergence of various anxious states. Psychologist-consultant Elena Larina will tell today how an elderly person can get rid of them.
An elegant elderly woman came to the reception at Elena Larina. Svetlana Petrovna is a teacher, a teacher of English, who has long and successfully worked in a well-known metropolitan university. Now the woman is 71 years old, lives alone – children and grandchildren have grown up, she does not communicate with her ex-husband.
A patient at such a respectable age is a rare case in Elena Larina’s practice, but the problem with which Svetlana Petrovna turned to a psychologist is rather typical.
“I am very worried about loved ones. It is poisoning my life and the life of my children. They get annoyed when the next, hundred thousand first time I ask them: “Are you all right ?! . I have never been a alarmist, and now any unexpected call gives me a heart attack. If the children do not call for a long time, I am sure that something terrible has happened. These enduring anxieties and fears will soon bring me to my grave. ”
“Unfortunately, hypertrophied fear for one’s loved ones is one of the most frequent emotions encountered in older people,” says Elena Larina. – Yesterday they lived an active, rich life, but, having crossed the age threshold or by virtue of their state of health, in an instant they find themselves out of work. The resulting emotional emptiness is gradually filled with feelings and feelings of negative quality – anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness. "
How to help a person to restore happiness and fullness of sensations?
“First of all, and this is the most important thing, it is necessary to convey to the elderly person that the responsibility for his internal state lies only with himself. Yes, often external circumstances are not always stable, but only the person himself chooses his reaction to them.
Why is this reaction rather negative with age? Because any emotion throws into the blood a cocktail of hormones. They make the heart beat faster, muscles contract, blood flows faster through the veins, feeding the internal organs. For the body it is dope. And from a strong negative emotion, this dope can be obtained much faster, and the sensations will be brighter. This is an emotional and physiological trap. If you realize the reasons for what is happening, you can try to reconfigure yourself to get a hormonal surge in a more "environmentally friendly" way.
Elena Larina offered the patient to remember what she liked most to do as a child and what she enjoyed the most, what she wanted to do, but it did not work out. Svetlana Petrovna remembered that she received the greatest pleasure when her father took her little one with him early in the morning to go fishing.
Svetlana Petrovna's eyes shone when she told how exciting and joyful it was for her to watch the float, pull out the fish, proudly carry the catch home in a red bucket.
The unexpected decision to go fishing instantly supplanted anxiety and fear from Svetlana Petrovna's emotional plan. Yes, over time, unpleasant depressing feelings may return, but after talking with a psychologist, a person already knows how to help himself.
You can ask your questions to psychologist Elena Larina by e-mail [email protected]